Coffee, Biscuits and Bullets

Semi-finalist in the Kaos Films BSSC competition 2009 as 'The Hitman'.
Some of the formatting is odd here (I keep amending it but the blog design puts it back)

FADE IN:
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Moonlight shines in through slatted blinds and bathes the room in pale blue light. On a dresser a photograph of RONNIE BLACK gleams in a silver frame.

In his mid-30s, handsome and athletic, Ronnie poses with a beautiful woman on an exotic beach. Each of them hold a surf board, their smiles wide and genuine.

Ronnie rolls over in the bed and lets out a slow, deep sigh - to anyone watching, this is a man totally relaxed and fast asleep. The door to the bedroom opens with a faint CREAK and a shadowy FIGURE steps into the room.

Ronnie blurs into motion. With one hand he pulls a pistol out from under the pillows as the other hand slaps on a table lamp. The Figure in the doorway holds up a hand against the blinding light.

The Figure is COLEMAN SPARKS, a man that when he was alive was in his 40s. His skin now gaunt and a pale white. An old bullet wound is in his forehead.

COLEMAN
Whoa. Easy there, Ronnie. You don't have to shoot me again.

RONNIE
What?

COLEMAN
I'm sorry to disturb you mate, we were going to let you sleep in, but it's just that Keith and Susanne wanted to know if you had any biscuits.

Ronnie stares at Coleman and wipes his eyes. This cannot be real.

RONNIE
What?

INT. LOUNGE - MOMENTS LATER
Ronnie enters the dark lounge. He wears a pair of boxer shorts and clutches the pistol. He turns the light on. The room is immaculate - a shrine to chic modern design.
Sat on the leather sofa are KEITH and SUSANNE PARSONS. Both in their 50s - each of them have an old bullet wound in their forehead - and are a long time dead.
Three cups of steaming coffee sit on a low table in front of them.
SUSANNE
Sorry to wake you, Ronnie.
(to Keith)
I told you that we should've just let him sleep.
KEITH
But I fancied some biscuits with my coffee.
RONNIE
But ...? What ...?
COLEMAN
Biscuits, mate. Do you have any?
RONNIE
Biscuits?
COLEMAN
Yeah. You got any?
RONNIE
Corner cupboard in the kitchen. Top right.
COLEMAN
Cheers.
 
Coleman moves through into the kitchen. The sound of cupboard doors opening is heard.
SUSANNE
Why don't you sit down, Ronnie, dear? You look tired.
She shuffles along the sofa and pats the empty space next to her. Ronnie sits in an armchair. Susanne frowns in disappointment that he's not sat next to her.
RONNIE
I'm hallucinating. Have to be.
KEITH
'Fraid not, old pal.
RONNIE
But you're dead. I killed you --
KEITH
Almost two years ago now, yeah. Thanks for reminding me.
SUSANNE
Can't say that we didn't really deserve it, love, can you? I mean we weren't very nice people were we? Any of us, come to that. And you were only doing your job, after all, weren't you Ronnie?
KEITH
Too bloody good at it, if you ask me.
SUSANNE
And to be honest, if I had to be killed I'm glad that it was by a nice young man like you.
KEITH
You what?
SUSANNE
I'm just saying that I'm glad it was Ronnie that did me rather than one of that eastern European lot. They're all hair and grease.
KEITH
Hold on, let me get this straight. You're glad that it was Ronnie that 'did you'?
SUSANNE
You know what I mean.
KEITH
I think I do. And I'm not sure I like it.
SUSANNE
Keith, that's enough.
KEITH
But --
SUSANNE
Keith!
RONNIE
Am I having a heart attack or something? Is this what happens when you have a heart attack?
COLEMAN (O.S.)
Is Rich Tea all you've got? Haven't you got any Digestives or Ginger Biscuits?
Ronnie continues to sit in the armchair, staring into space. Coleman pops his his head around the corner.
COLEMAN
Ronnie? Any Digestives or Ginger Biscuits?
RONNIE
No.
COLEMAN
What about Bourbons?
RONNIE
No.
SUSANNE
Rich Tea'll be fine thanks, Coleman.
KEITH
But they get too soggy.
Susanne throws Keith a sharp look.
KEITH
Rich Tea'll be fine, thanks mate.
Coleman disappears back into the kitchen.
EXT. APARTMENT BLOCK - THE SAME TIME
The night is still and quiet except for a black SALOON car which glides up to the entrance of the apartment block. The engine is turned off, its headlights go out and for a few moments silence returns.
The driver's door opens and DENNY CAIRNS - late 20s, tall, mean-looking - gets out of the car. He's dressed all in black and wears tight latex gloves.
He looks up at the apartment block - it is dark except for one flat on the top floor where light spills out from a window. He locks the car and heads for the entrance doors.
INT. LOUNGE - MOMENTS LATER
Ronnie puts the pistol on a low table next to him. Coleman comes back into the lounge. He carries a mug of coffee and a plate of Rich Tea biscuits.
SUSANNE
It's a lovely place you have here, Ronnie. Is there a Mrs Black to share it with?
RONNIE
What're you doing here?
SUSANNE
How do you mean?
RONNIE
How do you think I mean? Is this a haunting? Are you haunting me?
KEITH
It'd serve you right if we were.
COLEMAN
Didn't you invite us?
Coleman puts the plate of biscuits on the table in front of Keith and Susanne. Keith grabs one of them and bites on it.
RONNIE
How would I invite you? Why would I invite you?
COLEMAN
Alright, there's no need to be like that about it.
RONNIE
Be like what? It's, whatever time it is in the morning, and if this is real I've got the ghosts of some of the people I've killed sitting in my flat. And one of them is dropping crumbs all over my carpet!
KEITH
Oh, sorry.
COLEMAN
I thought you invited us.
SUSANNE
So did I. We'd never've just turned up unannounced, would we Keith?
KEITH
Mmm? What?
SUSANNE
I mean that'd be rude. Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
Ronnie hears the sound of the toilet flushing, he grabs the pistol, gets to his feet and points the weapon towards the bathroom doorway.
The door opens and NOEL SKINNER - 50s, an angry red mark around his neck, and very dead - steps out into the lounge, doing up the zip of his trousers. He stops as he sees the gun pointing at him.
NOEL
Oh, so now you want to shoot me.
RONNIE
Noel Skinner?
Noel continues to pull up his zip and fasten the belt at his waist.
NOEL
Not good enough for a quick death before, was I? Oh, no. Just because I was your first hit you had to throttle me to death, but now you want to shoot me. Oooh, I'm so scared.
INT. ELEVATOR - THE SAME TIME
Denny stands in the elevator as it makes its way up. He checks his appearance in the mirrored surface.
INT. LOUNGE - RESUME
Ronnie stands with the pistol still pointed at Noel - for the first time in his life he's not in control.
NOEL
And another thing. The women might like that look, Ronnie, but do me a favour will you? Put some clothes on, eh?
RONNIE
Are there any more of you here I should know about?
COLEMAN
Nope, just the four of us. Unless you're expecting anyone else, of course.
RONNIE
I wasn't expecting you!
Noel moves over to the sofa and sits next to Keith.
NOEL
Ooh, good. You found some biccies.
INT. ELEVATOR - RESUME
The elevator reaches the top floor. The doors open and Denny moves over to an apartment door. He presses an ear to it, listens for a moment then takes out a lock-pick set.
INT. LOUNGE - RESUME
Coleman, Noel and Keith devour the biscuits. Ronnie puts the pistol down on the shelf over the fireplace and goes back to the armchair.
RONNIE
What is it you want from me?
NOEL
Is that a literal or metaphorical question, Ronald?
RONNIE
Just what the hell do you want?
SUSANNE
I'm not sure that we want anything, Ronnie.
RONNIE
Then what're you doing here?
NOEL
If you didn't want us here, why ask us in the first place?
COLEMAN
He didn't. We've gone over that already while you were in the loo.
RONNIE
And what the hell were you doing in my toilet anyway?
NOEL
What do you think I was doing? And you're supposed to be an intelligent man.
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - THE SAME TIME
Denny opens the door and slips silently into the hallway. He closes the door behind him without a sound. The door to the lounge is open a fraction and Ronnie can be heard inside.
Denny pulls a pistol - with large silencer attached - from within the folds of his jacket. He cocks it and flips off the safety.
INT. LOUNGE - RESUME
RONNIE
Just get the hell out of my flat and leave me alone.
KEITH
Let us finish our coffees first, will you? It's cold out there, you know?
RONNIE
You're dead --
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - THE SAME TIME
Denny crouches by the lounge door and peers into the room. Ronnie is alone.
RONNIE
-- What the hell do you need coffee for anyway? Just piss off, will you!
INT. LOUNGE - RESUME
All four ghosts stare at Ronnie after his outburst. From the expression on Susanne's face it's clear she's not impressed.
NOEL
I know that I was a bad man, Ronnie. I did some pretty nasty things in my time. But you're just plain not nice.
SUSANNE
Come on, Keith. We're going.
KEITH
But --
SUSANNE
Now, Keith!
Keith gulps his coffee down and stands up. Denny stands in the doorway and raises his pistol at Ronnie. Keith stares at the new gunman.
KEITH
If you didn't invite anyone else, who's that then?
RONNIE
Who's who?
Ronnie turns to the doorway and sees Denny - sees the pistol pointing at him.
RONNIE
Oh.
Ronnie looks at his pistol on the mantelpiece across the room.
RONNIE
Shit.
DARKNESS
The soft thud of a silenced pistol being fired.

INT. LOUNGE - MOMENTS LATER
Ronnie lies face down on the floor. A pool of blood stains the carpet from the bullet wound in his head. Denny moves over to him, presses a finger against Ronnie's neck and searches for a pulse.
DENNY
Fucking loon.
He places the pistol back into his jacket and turns to go. He notices the plate of biscuits on the table. He takes a couple and walks out of the room.
EXT. BUS STOP- NIGHT
Susanne, Keith, Coleman and Noel sit on a bench in the bus stop. Ronnie sits next to Susanne. He is naked except for the pair of boxer shorts and has a bloody bullet wound in his forehead.
Ronnie hugs himself around his chest and rubs his arms against the cold. If he wasn't already dead, he'd be freezing.
KEITH
I said it was cold.
NOEL
Told you to put some clothes on, didn't I?
RONNIE
Yeah, yeah.
 
Denny's black saloon eases past the bus stop.


RONNIE
Bastard.
SUSANNE
(to Ronnie)
You could share my coat, you know, if you wanted. I'm sure it's big enough for two.
Keith frowns at his wife's suggestion.
FADE OUT.

Copyright © 2011 Andrew Goodman